“People spend too much time finding other people to blame, too much energy finding excuses for not being what they are capable of being, and not enough energy putting themselves on the line, growing out of the past, and getting on with their lives.”
——– J. Michael Straczynski
Playing a blame game is so prevalent. Putting the blame on someone else is perhaps intended to take the guilt off one’s shoulders. But as I, and most likely you too have realized that winning the blame game never brings happiness and many a times, the guilt lingers and relationships are strained.
Let’s take a simple example:
When “I” spill milk on the floor, my hands were too slippery because I was busy working in the kitchen or I tripped, or …..
But when “You” spill milk on the floor, that is a whole another story, ….. You were not careful; it’s your fault, you have a habit of spilling things, ……..
I am sure, you get the point.
That was a simple situation, now think about times when we blame our spouse, our family, their family, our friends, our children, our neighbor, that stranger, …….. God!
Our avoidance tendency somehow kicks in to our defense but it turns out, every time we blame others we transfer the power from ourselves to “them.” Solving problems that are in our hands are tough enough, now this of this particular situation some more….. we now have to make convince the other person or wait around the other person to fix things.
I remember, Bob Proctor in one of his videos saying something in this effect: Think if you had to send everyone else to your shrink to fix your problems.
It has been my experience that when blaming doesn’t work anymore and when I start taking actions to fix things, I have always achieved something more than when I have slumped.
Whenever I think of writing something and I go on the web, someone has already thought about it and written it down. Now, I can blame them or even myself, or I can contribute to my blog and keep thinking of things to write about, smile about, feel about, think more about, and learn more about.
The world will be a wonderful place to live in if the blame game stopped ….. but that is a whole different story….
So, here is one blog to try and refer back to when we want to empower ourselves and one by Jerry Waxler, one of those who got to this topic before me on this topic.
Was I blaming? Nah! Empowering myself to continue researching.