I cried Yesterday and here’s what I learned
April 13, 2017
Yesterday, I cried.

Then, I shared this post on my Facebook Page and on a few of the Facebook Groups where I show up more and have built a virtual community.

Here’s what I posted:

I cried today.

I felt nauseous and my body quivered, encouraging me to cry. So, I cried, in fact I sobbed today.

I haven’t cried much, not for me, much. I’ve cried when a movie, video, or news touched me. I have cried because I was too angry. I have cried because I have felt helpless. I could have said, I cried because of what happened in San Bernardino, at #United, or Syria (I’ve avoided watching anything).

I could have said, I cried because life is just so unfair.

But, I cried because life is real and it gets to you sometimes. I cried because raising a kid as a primary caregiver without much of a support system and being scared of what if you are no longer there or you aren’t able to be there for her gets you sometimes.

I cried because it gets really lonely sometimes and you remember the times you had loved ones around you to hold you and to be there for you and that you realize how important a good support system is to your well-being. I cried because things are changing so fast and you feel you should be able to take control of the situation and be on top of everything but you are way over your head sometimes.

I cried because I fear that the things that I learned, I’d be too scared to share, too scared to try because I am too scared of being vulnerable or too scared of failing. But mostly, I cried because I have finally owned up to the fact that it is ok to cry sometimes. It is ok to let your guard down sometimes.

I dared to cry because I have witnessed many amazing women and a handful of men dare to be absolutely vulnerable, cry, and even ask for help and then step back into their power, shining brighter than ever in my eyes and those who witnessed them along with me. I cried because they’ve shown me through their own example that crying doesn’t mean you are weak. Crying doesn’t even mean you are asking for help. In fact, sometimes a good cry is all it takes to get back up again.

I cried because sometimes you have to cry to step up to your higher power. Crying allows you to acknowledge that you are scared but by acknowledging your fear you allow yourself the space to do things that you are scared of anyway.

So, yes I cried because I needed to clear my soul of the fear: the fear of staying small, the fear of watching life pass by, the fear of getting nothing done, the fear of making mistakes, being ridiculed, being judged, and the fear of letting your close ones and yourself down.

I cried because I needed to and I share this with you to let you know that I am ok. I also wanted to let you know that it is ok to cry if you’ve felt like it. I locked the door, turned on the fan and sobbed. It felt so much better afterward. I even have the courage to share this with you today. If you are in a jolly mood, stay jolly, please!

I shared this because I know there are so many of you being strong and holding on. But to step up, sometimes you have to let go. Letting go of the fear to be judged allows you the freedom to see the power in you. There’s much to be done and it has to start with you.

After I cried and felt better, these words flowed ever so naturally for me. I just let it flow and when I was done, I knew I had to share it. So, I did.

I’ve had great conversations because of it. Some who are extremely close to me and some who I barely know came forward and we connected and shared a bond with our memories of the cries.

And then I had this big revelation. I cried and that made me feel good but then I wrote this and shared which menat I took action. I was nudged along to take action, to go out of my comfort zone and share this post.

I then realized that crying was not enough. Crying made a lot of negative enrgies leave me and then there was a void. Had I stayed in the comfort zone, the void would have been filled with something else, more negative enrgy even.

That nudge allowed me to reach out and move me forward.

The nudge allowed me to take that one crucial step to keep me going. I had felt stuck and uninspired for many days now. The cry allowed me some clearing space and then this small action made me inch forward to something that would create a momentum for me to keep going. It allowed me to connect and to be in the community of people, something I needed.

So, I’dd like to add something to the post. It is not enough to just cry but to take a small action to create that tiny momentum to inch you or to catapult you forward. But, an action in the right direction is what needs to follow that cry.

If you’ve shed the tears, it is just the right time to take that one small leap of faith. Your tears are telling you that you’ve been stuck and that now that it has cleared the way, it is your time to take it away.

What action did you take?

I’d love to know.

About Sudiksha Joshi

A Learning Advocate and Founder of WeAreAlwaysLearning.com, I am on a mission to give ourselves to think bigger and bolder to forge our way forward and change the world.